• Bonita Nuttall

To Connect, is to Surrender

It almost feels counter intuitive to say that.


To CONNECT, implies taking action, plugging in, or DO-ing something.

But recently, after being kicked to the curb by Covid, preceded by a gnarly cocktail of winter bugs that plugged and ploughed into me for a total of 5 weeks, I realised that to CONNECT, is the opposite of DO-ing anything.



It took me 2 weeks to fully surrender, to let go and to BE sick, so I could recover and reconnect.


I realised once again, that I got caught up a global culture that values DO-ing over BE-ing. HAVE-ing over GIVE-ing. There's a drive to push harder, chase after, and do more to get somewhere.


A destination of MOREness. More money, more clients, more positioning, more people on our database and the list continues.


It's a masculine energy that lives in us all, and given half a chance, it will ride that rodeo all the way to the bank.


The problem is, when our masculine energy is in overdrive, we become out of balance and it becomes forceful. Instead of flowing with life, we can find ourselves pushing hard, controlling and almost forcing life to fit into our picture of what we expect it to be.


The result - a sh*t show.

Decreased energy, productivity, patience flies out the window, trust is broken (in ourselves mostly), and instead of making progress, we can wake up in a dry bed of depletion, isolation and busy chaos.


Reaching some 'expected' destination is prioritised over everything else, because the underlying belief is that, when we reach 'there', everything else will be better.


We will have more, by doing more, so we can be more. Not even more - enough.

What it's really fuelled by, is an even deeper underling belief that who I am right now, how life is right now, is not good enough, and I have to change it.


The results is our constantly living in the future, rather than being present, so we can experience our lives while it's actually happening.


Thing is, ENOUGH doesn't exist in a world where we're constantly told we need this one more thing - just one, more, thing, constantly chasing our next 'FIX', so we can finally enjoy the life we live.

The dopamine hits of high-achievement and performance drive this toxic culture and it's costing many of us and organisations, dearly.

Dr. Libby calls it Rushing Woman Syndrome

and it's having a devastating impact on women's reproductive systems, overall health and wellbeing. And I'm sure it's not limited to women only.


In my recent spout of illness, I realised just how disconnected I became from myself, my inner guidance, my body's own intelligence.

I was using my Apple watch to tell me to breathe, stand, exercise and got bombarded with pings and pongs as a flurry of messages poured into my every moment.

I had turned down the YOU, in me by chasing after the MORE-ness of what I thought I needed to succeed.


Until I got my lovely wake up call and I knew, it was time to make some big changes.

I surrendered. To me, to life.

I turned off all unnecessary pings and pongs, set aside some parts of my Practice and slowed down to a mild panic. Lol.


I've taken time to reconnect with me, to ask and then listen for the answer, instead of constantly chasing some hot advice.

I'm waking up to a choice of trusting, and choosing to step back into the flow of life.


Instead of CHASING, I'm leaning into ATTRACTING.

I'm listening to my body to hear what it wants and needs instead of numbing out with a glass of wine, Netflix or my own relentless busyness so that I can soldier on - just a little further...


"That's the only way we'll reach the top - after all." Echoes the common mantra of business 'gurus' aplenty.


Instead of chasing every busy thought in my mind, through meditation and mindfulness, I'm tuning into my breath, that grounds me in the present moment, the only place life is happening.


But it's a process, and I'm certainly not claiming perfection here!


It's a messy, human process, driven by a conscious awareness to choose in every moment to connect, or disconnect, and then reconnect in a world where we're constantly served up the delight of the disconnection delusion.


If we want to Turn Up the YOU in all we do, it's not about DO-ing anything.


It's about CONNECTING first, which is s process of surrendering to this moment. Accepting what is - no matter how crappy it may be.

We cannot change anything unless we first become aware of what is. And then accept it, as it is.

Eckart Tolle says,
“Always say “yes” to the present moment.
What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

When we do, we start trusting and taking the right kind of action that arises from within us when we do.

That allows us to connect to our energy, our joy, peace, our relationship with ourselves and then with others, to our internal guidance systems, our intuition and to the fullness of life.


Instead of trudging down a path of self destruction, we then redirect to our magnificent unfolding.

So my invitation to you today is to consider, how much of your life is currently being spent chasing? How connected to do you feel to you, to your body, your inner guidance and how is that informing the way you're showing today?


What's the result you're experiencing? And without judgement, just noticing, becoming aware of what is.


In what way, could you choose today to listen more, to you. To your body, to that small voice inside of you that's gently guiding you - and yes, we actually do all have one. 😉


What would it enable you to do better, if you were to increase your connection to you, to your energy, your peace of mind, trust, and joy?

It starts with surrendering to what is, so we can connect.

Finally, my invitation to you today is - how can you lean into surrendering, to connect to you, so you can Turn Up the YOU in all you do?

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